I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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