i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
