How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
