woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
