So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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