hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
