Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
