You work out of a Hotel?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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