what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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