is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
