I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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