I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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