I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
