I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
