I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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