Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
