You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
