i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
organizing the empties. That sober.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
