Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
