So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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