Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
