stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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