these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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