i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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