you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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