at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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