Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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