wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
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