You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
