I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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