I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
