Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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