Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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