just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
