Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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