Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
