but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
