Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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