I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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