She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
