the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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