Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
