toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
