he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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