Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??