guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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