I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
