Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
