I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize