So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
