Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
