she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
