Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Randomize
Follow @tfln