she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
