Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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