I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
